Common Play-It-Off #1: The "Sniff Catch"

I'm hoping this post will be the first of many explorations of what I'm terming "Common Play-It-Offs" - which are basically timely behavioral adjustments employed to quickly manage the perceptions of those around you. They are clandestinely desperate efforts to ensure that you don't give something of yourself away that you didn't premeditatedly intend to give away. The type of things about which those less subtle of your friends and/or acquaintances might be quick to say, "He's totally trying to play it off!" Hence the name.

Let me give you an example. Let's assume you find yourself in some form of social situation. Suddenly, something in your immediate environment tickles your funnybone. Perhaps you are in conversation and someone says something unexpectedly ironic. Perhaps you are supposed to be hard at work, though in fact you were daydreaming when a joke or scene of hilarity stumbles into the forefront of your consciousness. Within a fraction of a split-second, before you've braced yourself to withstand the wind of laughter, a gust blows through and exits out your nostrils, thus producing a slight, but plainly audible sniff-laugh, perhaps accompanied by a slight twinkling in your eyes. In yet another fraction of a second, this one no larger than the one that brought on this almost certain disaster, your mind rattles off the following: "Oh no! Did anyone hear that? Did anyone see that? Shoot! How embarrassing if they did! But maybe there's still time... maybe I can [everyone all together now] PLAY IT OFF..." Of course, this would be more of a quasi-conscious reaction - the way the play-it-off would more likely be conceived and executed in real time is something like this: ! nff. And "nff," of course, is what I would call the "Sniff Catch." That timely, ever-so-smooth save that, if successful, will have those in your airspace thinking, "Did he laugh just now? Oh, must have been merely clearing his nose."

And of course, if someone asks you how your allergies are doing this season, you know you're in the clear. Golden. (Barring any hint of sarcasm, of course.) However, should you find no forthcoming offers of Kleenex, you are then faced with a difficult decision. Do you follow up your sniff laugh and catch with another similar sniffing combination? Or would doing so jeopardize the subtlety of your defense? After all, your whole strategy here rests on flying below the radar. Friend, let me just say that I don't envy your decision in the least. All I will offer here, other than the obvious advice that you should factor in as many variables as you can in the time you have (what's your audience like - how well do you know them? are you in a noisy location - perhaps the air conditioning prevented anyone from noticing your blunder? how drunk is everyone - not at all or beyond memory? do these people even care whether you exist - perhaps if they all look down on you they wouldn't care even if they did notice?) - you know, read the situation and make an educated guess - is this: prevention is the best defense. Let me explain further in the next paragraph. See you there in a minute - I have to run to the bathroom.

Okay, I'm back. Hopefully you weren't waiting too long. Now, prevention. The key here is practice. I'm talking, stand in front of the mirror and practice all kinds of get-out-of-trouble looks (I'm a younger brother - trust me, they work. Actually, I really did get in trouble a lot as a kid. But I think this tapered off significantly as I got older, so I take that for eventually getting better at getting out of stuff, especially given the fact that I've always been a learn-the-hard-way type of guy). Especially hone in on such gems as the hee-hee-aren't-I-so-cute look (caution: this look's effectiveness can be compromised by the presence of pepper in between front teeth, or any other foreign objects), the oops-aren't-I-so-cute look (the key here is not in making your surprise come off as genuine, but in how adorable you are), and finally the oh-well-aren't-I-so-cute look (the king of all looks, because once you've mastered this one, you can pretty much get away with anything except for cannibalism and cutting in line). Also, Blue Steel and Magnum are handy options. So then, once you've got some tools in your bag, you're ready to pull them out should you totally botch the play-it-off.

So, without further ado, here it is (in my first ever blog-video!) - the "Sniff Catch":